They say you’re easy to be around.
Low-maintenance.
Chill.
Good vibes only.
You smile at the compliment,
but something deep inside you aches—
because they don’t know that being palatable
was never your truth.
It was your armor.
It was the price of being accepted.
Of being liked.
Of not being too much for them.
And now, you wonder who you would be
if you weren’t always shrinking to fit
into someone else’s appetite.
Becoming Digestible
It starts early.
Be polite.
Don’t interrupt.
Speak softly.
Don’t make a scene.
Make yourself likeable.
So you learn to read the room before you enter it.
You learn to become what they need.
You become a mirror. A mood-setter. A peacekeeper.
You laugh when you’re uncomfortable.
You nod when you disagree.
You apologize for being misunderstood—
as if their lack of effort is your fault.
You learn to make yourself smaller
so that others don’t feel confronted by your fullness.
But no one teaches you how painful it is
to be praised for being pleasant
when what you really want
is to be real.
The Discomfort You Swallow
There are things you never say
because they might be “too intense.”
Needs you never voice
because you don’t want to be “needy.”
Questions you never ask
because they might make things awkward.
You edit yourself constantly.
You bite your tongue so often,
it forgets what truth tastes like.
And it’s not that you don’t feel anger, or grief, or desire.
It’s that you’ve learned to bury them—
to stay acceptable.
But the body keeps score.
You get headaches from holding in your frustration.
Stomach aches from words swallowed too often.
Tension in your shoulders from carrying the weight of being “easy.”
And still, they thank you for being “so grounded.”
“Unproblematic.”
“Emotionally mature.”
They don’t know your silence is not peace.
It’s self-erasure.
Why It Hurts So Much
Being palatable means people enjoy your presence—
as long as you don’t disrupt their comfort.
It means your worth is tied to how easily you can be consumed,
not how fully you can be met.
It means you’re praised for being agreeable,
even when it costs you your honesty.
And over time, you begin to believe that your mess
is a liability.
That your fire is dangerous.
That your truth is too sharp to be loved.
So you trade authenticity for safety.
But the safety is an illusion—
because if they only love the version of you
that you curate,
you are still alone.
Craving to Be Unedited
There’s a quiet hunger that grows
when you’re always digestible.
A longing to scream without apology.
To cry without softening it.
To say no without explanation.
To take up space without guilt.
To let your full spectrum be seen—
even the parts that don’t smile on command.
You start to wonder:
What would it feel like to be fully met?
Not just accepted,
but embraced in the raw, chaotic, holy mess that you are?
And even though it terrifies you,
you start to crave it more than approval.
The Shift: From Palatable to Present
It begins with tiny rebellions.
You stop apologizing for your emotions.
You stop laughing when you’re not amused.
You allow silence instead of forced reassurance.
You say, “Actually, that hurt,” when it’s true.
You let someone see you break,
instead of performing resilience.
And the world might flinch.
Some people might leave.
Some might call you “difficult” now.
But the ones who stay?
They’re not there for the mask.
They’re there for you.
Your unfiltered self.
Your depth. Your spirit. Your truth.
Making Peace With Being "Too Much"
You begin to understand:
You were never too much.
They were just too limited.
Your truth is not excessive—
it’s expansive.
Your voice is not abrasive—
it’s necessary.
Your anger is not ugly—
it’s sacred.
Your longing is not weakness—
it’s evidence of your aliveness.
You were not born to be everyone’s taste.
You were born to be true.
And there is a profound kind of beauty in that—
one that doesn't fade with time,
because it was never built to please,
but to liberate.
No Longer Easy to Swallow
You are no longer the sugar-coating.
No longer the comfort zone.
No longer the one who disappears in order to be loved.
You are not made to be digestible.
You are made to be whole.
And if your truth makes someone uncomfortable,
let it.
If your depth is too much,
they were never deep enough.
Because there is nothing more painful
than pretending to be smaller
for a love that could never hold your full weight.
You Are Not Here to Be Liked. You Are Here to Be Alive.
So take up the space.
Say the thing.
Feel all of it.
Be loud. Be quiet. Be angry. Be soft.
But above all, be real.
The pain of being palatable ends
when you choose presence over perfection,
truth over approval,
and self over performance.
And that’s when the real healing begins.
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